Jenna’s Official Statement on Sanctuary Security

Why? Because apparently, security has become a joke around here. Quincy, the Yard Guard, has taken to “not feeling well” as an excuse to abandon his post. And with him sidelined, the entire sanctuary has descended into chaos.

Sam the tortoise has staged a full-on breakout, lumbering all the way into the front yard in a slow-motion jailbreak that nobody bothered to stop. Jenna would have done something but she tries to mind her own business… unless, of course, it’s business she’s interested in.

The Puffalumps, Louisa and Charlie, have been flapping and squawking like feathered anarchists, raising havoc wherever they go. Sherman, quick to take advantage of the power vacuum left by Quincy, went so far as to peck Jenna in the face. The betrayal will not be forgotten. Should Quincy ever appoint a successor, Sherman just lost her vote (and likely Maisie’s as well).

And Huckleberry! Into everything. Buckets. Pockets. Peaceful moments. Nothing is safe. And the nerve of him to have no fear of Jenna’s mighty horns.

Jenna, as always, has responded with grace. She has taken it upon herself to monitor suspicious activity and do absolutely nothing about it… unless, of course, the criminal mischief involves her breakfast, dinner, or naps.

But let’s be honest: until Quincy is back on duty, Sam stays put, the Puffalumps learn manners, and Sherman apologizes for his crimes, there will be no peace. Jenna cannot go on like this, so she has generously donated her life savings to get Quincy his much-needed surgery. Unfortunately, several thousand pounds of manure are not worth much… even on the black market (don’t ask us how we know).

Until then, Jenna will carry on the best she can… if only Quincy’s toe surgeon knew the weight on her shoulders and what’s at stake.