I would like to file a formal complaint regarding a recent incident with sanctuary management.

Last week, without warning, the veterinarian arrived and announced that Maisie and I were getting our annual vaccinations.

Apparently, being beautiful, beloved, and generally essential to sanctuary operations does not exempt someone from “preventive medical care.”

I find this troubling.

I was told the shots were necessary to keep me healthy. While I strongly support keeping me healthy, I question whether anyone fully explored the possibility of accomplishing this through carrots instead.

Then Ryan put big pink covers on my horns.

Both of them.

Apparently, my natural elegance presented a safety concern. I have spent years growing these horns, and he dressed them as though they were attending a baby shower. 

Nevertheless, I handled the situation with the dignity expected of someone in my position. I stood bravely while everyone admired how good I was. Then, having survived (barely), I was ready to begin the difficult process of rebuilding trust.

However, everyone seemed ready to carry on with the day. This surprised me. I had assumed there would be a small reception honoring my bravery. Nothing elaborate. A few remarks. A banana platter. Ryan explaining his choices. Especially the stabby ones.

I am therefore requesting the following:

• A formal apology
• Advance notice of all future shots, including a full explanation of all snacks involved
• Compensation provided before anyone approaches me with a needle
• ​Final approval of anything described as something I “need to wear”

Despite this unfortunate violation of my dignity, I remain healthy, magnificent, and willing to move forward once appropriately compensated.
​
-Jenna

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in a peaceful, harmonious animal sanctuary where everyone coexists in perfect serenity… we can confirm that we have no idea.

Because lately, Life With Pigs has been less Little House on the Prairie and more Real Housewives of the Barnyard.